For those without little kids, it may come as a surprise to learn that much has changed when it comes to school choice. With a current 7th grader and 5th grader, among others, I have learned that going to middle school is no longer “just go the middle school.” Instead, students in our district may choose to apply to one of two “magnet” middle schools, another middle school with a “Green Tech Academy,” or, if the student is a girl, a school for “Young Women Leaders” (“Young Men Leaders” are, apparently, out of luck). All these options have put pressure on the regular non-magnet middle schools to up their game and many now have impressive academic programs. For those with the means to send their kids to private school, there are even more choices. All this is great.
But the plethora of choice is not without stress. Among many parents there is an unspoken fear that if my kid is not in the “right” school from a young age, there go the hopes of educational and career success. That type of thinking is nonsense.
The one thing that distinguishes successful people is not smarts, or looks, or innate skill, or where the diploma is from, or certainly not where they went to middle school, but rather whether they can grind. Someone who grinds can set a long-term goal and consistently put in the work to achieve that goal. Grinders develop skills and expertise. Grinding is not checking boxes or putting in face time at the office or being content to be comfortable just because of the money, it is an unrelenting process of improvement. Grinders do not stand still; they are always moving up. People who grind are valued by employers and, after a while, the process of grinding imbues a sense of confidence that allows grinders to choose their own career path. Whether a plumber or a physicist or a pediatrician, grinders have options, and options equals power in the real world.
School needs to be interesting enough and challenging enough to keep students engaged so that they can learn how to grind. For some kids that might be a rigorous academic program with lots of homework. For others it might be a school with good athletic programs where the lessons of practice, teamwork, and winning and losing are learned on the field. For others it may be a school with a great drama teacher who brings out the inner thespian in a shy student who spends many nights staying up late memorizing lines. Point being, there are opportunities to learn the value of hard work at every school provided students push themselves, and parents push their children, to take advantage of those opportunities.
Parents who think a specific school is going to make their kid a success – or not getting into a school will limit success – are missing the picture. It’s up to us to teach our kids how to grind by example, by setting and enforcing expectations, and by helping them discover the interests that bring out their passions. Engaged and supportive parenting that demands accountability is way, way, way more important than any specific school.
There is a lot of pressure when it comes to instilling our children with the tools for success. But that pressure is not getting our kids into the magnet middle school (though if they do and want to go, great). That pressure is on us parents to be involved with our kids’ lives and teach them the value of hard work. After all, raising kids is a grind.
Vamonos Baby! 